In the fifth episode of Disney’s Pam & Tommy, the couple’s marriage is under pressure as the sex tape becomes mainstream news, and Pam learns an important lesson about asserting her boundaries.
If you’re a woman and you’ve ever struggled to say no, then you’ll know the stomach-churning feeling that you’ve crossed a line. We fear that we may jeopardise our careers, relationships, and femininity if we assert our boundaries, even as we suffer the dissatisfying consequences: resentment, anxiety and frustration.
Still, social conditioning runs deep, and it takes time to unlearn the impulse to be likeable and agreeable, as Pam discovers in the fifth episode of Disney’s new miniseries Pam & Tommy.
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As the sex tape spreads further afield through pirate copies, the strain of the leak begins to take a serious toll on Pam and Tommy’s relationship. Tommy is drinking heavily, getting into fights in nightclub toilets and bitterly lamenting the slow wane of his career, while the trauma of the couple’s devastating miscarriage has made both withdrawn and antagonistic.
With Pam’s star on the rise, she is informed by her publicist Gail Chwatsky (Mozhan Marnò) that if Tommy’s increasingly unhinged antics continue, her career will suffer. Their conversation prompts Pam to open up about the stress of the leak, and when Gail performs a web search, the pair make the horrifying discovery that while no news outlets have written about it, there are plenty of links available online to stream the sex tape.
Things take a turn for the worse when Tommy receives word that Bob Guccione, the publisher of Playboy’s rival magazine Penthouse,has got hold of the tape. Tommy correctly assumes that Guccione will want to run photos from the tape in his magazine, and defiantly declares to Pam that they will sue Penthouse.
In a subsequent meeting with their lawyers, Pam and Tommy are advised to file an invasion of privacy injunction against Guccione and the magazine, while simultaneously requesting injunctive relief; a measure in which the judge would prohibit the publication of any photos from the tape.
Pam tentatively raises a concern: if the couple sue, the full glare of the media spotlight will fall upon the sex tape. But the lawyers insist that the couple must sue.
In the meantime, Guccione announces to his lawyers that nobody will rob him of his “God given right to free expression”. He instructs his secretary to pull 20 frames – “ the nastiest bits” – and draw up a press release announcing that they’re publishing still images from the tape in Penthouse.
Later on, Pam’s worries about the news spreading turn out to be completely justified when the papers announce that Pam and Tommy are suing Penthouse. As soon as the news is in print, word spreads like wildfire; to film crews, Hugh Hefner, and the all-male writers room for late night host Jay Leno’s chat show, who swiftly snap up the news for comic material.
Upon discovering the news that Pam and Tommy are set to sue Penthouse in a $10 million lawsuit, Gail confronts Pam in her Baywatch trailer where the pair have an important conversation about boundaries.
“How could you not have told me?” she asks Pam. “I would have told you in no uncertain terms: do not do it.”
Pam replies that every single one of the lawyers advised that the couple should sue, even as it’s clear that the decision was against her wishes.
“Of course they did! They’re lawyers,” replies Gail incredulously, and when Pam adds that Tommy thought it was a good idea too, she’s sharply told that his opinion is that of “another alpha male”.
Pam, looking increasingly dejected, then tells Gail that it’s hard “saying no to a room full of men”.
“Honey I do it all day long,” drawls Gail.
“Yeah well you know what? I guess it’s easier for some women,” answers Pam bitterly.
“No,” Gail responds indignantly. “It’s not easy for any woman. We are programmed from birth to say yes to men. But it is a skill you’ve gotta learn.”
Later on, it seems that Pam is beginning to stand up for herself when a male co-worker tries to position her on the set of Baywatch. “I can move myself,” she says crisply.
It’s a small moment, but James powerfully conveys what it means for Pam to start to reject the idea that she is supposed to serve and acquiesce. As Pam has explained in previous episodes, her entire life has been one exhausting exercise in people-pleasing, and with the burden of a stolen sex tape now adding to her woes, the way the culture at large treated women as public property is thrown into even greater relief.
As the series works to positively reframe the narrative around Pamela Anderson, this conversation is a reminder that all too often, women prioritise everyone else’s approval before their own wants and needs. But once we realise that our limits aren’t endless, as we’re led to believe, we can start to say no with confidence.
Images: Disney+
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