My boyfriend’s appetite for kinky sex is getting out of hand.
There is only so much bondage, porn and dressing up I can stomach. In the last couple of months, we’ve swung with the people next door, his boss and his boyfriend and some strangers off the internet.
I’ve dressed up as everything from a sexy nun to a slutty French maid. Three men have eaten sushi off my naked body. I’ve romped in hot tubs, danced naked in gardens and much more.
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And now, do you know what, I’m bored. I’m bored of role playing and fancy parties with horny women and vain men.
I’ve literally bent over backwards to please and impress my boyfriend but now I’m burnt out – nothing feels real anymore.
He’s always looking for the next thrill. Nothing is dirty or risky enough for him. It’s got to the stage where I dread what he’ll come up with next.
He has such strong expectations that he forgets I’m a healthy woman who loves sex but also craves love and affection.
The other night he unexpectedly bought round an old mate for a threesome. When I said no he hit the roof. When I tried to explain that I only fancied a cuddle, he stormed that I’m a disappointment. He was furious I’d humiliated him in front of his pal. I stood my ground, so they went to a strip club instead. Then I felt guilty for upsetting him.
How do we begin to get things back on track?
How do I make him understand I’ve gone as far as I wish to go and would like to drop the sex games and start again with just the two of us and nothing more than a tube of lube?
JANE SAYS: You wonder what your boyfriend will come up with next, well, the mind boggles.
Stay strong because it’s wonderful you’ve found your voice and possess the strength to recognise your limits. Your boyfriend is an individual. He can push back as many boundaries as he likes (within reason) but you don’t have to go on his kinky journey with him.
That evening when he kicked off in front of his mate needs to be viewed as a turning point. He was unreasonable and brattish because you dared to turn him down.
But you are not his plaything or his sex slave. Make the time to talk when you’re both feeling calm. Tell him that you won’t go on like this. This extreme sex life is not what you signed up for.
Is he genuinely happy in himself? Does he feel overwhelmed and stressed? Does he have a problem that he isn’t acknowledging? Suggest he speaks to his GP as any form of obsessive behaviour is worrying.
I urge you to set yourself free by finding the kind of life that you wish to live. If it’s genuine love and affection you crave, then find it elsewhere. Never let this guy, or anyone else, compromise you again or bring you down.
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