I’m obsessed with sex. Is this normal? Does everyone else think about bonking as much as I do?
My girlfriend thinks I’m a regular guy but my appetite is off the scale. Whenever we’re in bed I might be fondling her but my mind is a million miles away.
She doesn’t know the true me – and I’m too ashamed to show my real side. We make love every time we meet but what she doesn’t know is that I use hook- up apps and get off with other women in between.
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The other night I went straight from her flat at midnight to a club in town where I found two strangers who were willing to play with me.
My girl doesn’t know this is my normal. I worry I’m weird. Sex is on my mind 24/7, I struggle to get through work for fantasising about everyone from women on TV to people I fancy in my town.
I see my mates and they accuse me of zoning out. Even when I’m asleep, my dreams are filled with naked, romping couples.
Sometimes I make out with guys too. I’ve got together with men in public places on my way home from work before now. The other thing that’s worrying me is keeping my behaviour a secret from my girl.
A few blokes I work with know all about me. At the moment I’m pretty confident that none of them would blab.
But what if I have a falling out and my secret life is exposed? What I’m really saying is that I don’t like the way I’m behaving and need my life to change.
JANE SAYS: It’s brave of you to be honest because this problem can’t have been easy for you to admit to.
You put your unsuspecting girlfriend’s sexual health in danger every time you have sex with another woman or man. That’s neither right nor fair. She has to know what she’s dealing with.
Sit her down and explain how much you respect her and how much she means to you. Tell her that you very much enjoy the intimacy and fun you enjoy together but she needs to understand that you are not the person she thinks you are as your sex drive is enormous.
Explain you fear you could be addicted to sex. Tell her about the late-night assignations, the hook-up apps and the other men so that there are no more lies. Tell her you realise you have a serious problem but are doing everything to seek the professional help you need.
You may freak her out but she deserves some honesty. The same goes for your trusted mates because I can’t imagine they’re going to tolerate your zoning out act for much longer.
Any kind of obsessive behaviour can be helped. Speak to your GP. You need to explain to him or her how your addiction to sex is affecting your life, and check out Sex Addicts Anonymous (saauk.info) for information.
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