How to fit in to high society: Luxury recruiter teaches Gen Z manners and etiquette through TikTok – from greeting people with exactly THREE handshakes to scooping your soup away from you
- Mayfair-based company Polo & Tweed is a luxury service recruitment specialist
- CEO Lucy Challenger provides uber-rich with nannies, chauffeurs, housekeepers
- She is sharing secrets of fitting into high society to Gen Z on her TikTok account
- Tips include how to walk in heels on cobblestones and properly using cutlery
The founder of a recruitment agency for the super-rich has revealed her simple tips on fitting into high society.
London and Berkshire-based Lucy Challenger, 38, is the founder and CEO of high-end Mayfair agency Polo and Tweed, which sources employees for uber-wealthy clients.
Now, the businesswoman – who has branded herself ‘The Fixer’ – has taken to TikTok to teach Gen Z users the essential manners and etiquette they need to fit in with the upper echelon of society.
From avoiding public displays of affection to knowing how to correctly use cutlery in different parts of the world, her advice teaches users how to handle themselves in any situation that may arise.
London and Berkshire-based Lucy Challenger, 38, is the founder and CEO of high-end Mayfair agency Polo and Tweed, which sources employees for uber- wealthy clients
‘When I first started to make these videos, it was just a bit of fun,’ said Lucy. ‘But I have been inundated with comments from people who find them really educational.
‘Years ago for instance, children would have been taught from a young age how to sit correctly at the dinner table, these days not so much.
‘It is great to receive such positive feedback from those who have not only enjoyed my videos but found them helpful.’
HOW TO INTRODUCE YOURSELF
When introducing yourself with a handshake, Lucy explained you should have a firm grip on the other person’s hand and that a ‘limp-wrist’ is definitely something to avoid
When introducing yourself with a handshake, Lucy explained you should have a firm grip on the other person’s hand and that a ‘limp-wrist’ is definitely something to avoid.
‘I limp-wristed handshake is disgusting. It sends shivers down my spine,’ she said. ‘Also don’t have a wet palm, a sweaty wet palm when you’re shaking someone’s hand, it’s disgusting. If you’ve got nervous energy and you think you’re sweating, discreetly wipe your hand on the side of your hand or your jacket.
‘As a general rule, you want to make contact with the inner section between the thumb and the first finger, this should slot in neatly to the other persons hand to close. Then three firm handshakes and release. No more than three no less than three.’
She said to avoid holding someone’s hand for too long, warning it comes across as ‘creepy’ regardless of gender, and while the grip should be firm, you shouldn’t squeeze the other person’s hand too tightly.
Lucy says to avoid a weak handshake and that a good handshake sees you make contact with the inner section between the thumb and the first finger, which should slot in neatly to the other persons hand to close
Lucy went on: ‘Remember culturally that not everybody wants to shake hands. so if you have any doubt of the cultural interaction you’re having, you can simply hold your hands together and a neat bow or a nod with the head is sufficient.
‘It’s always important to do your research on the person you’re meeting and the culture you’re from so you know exactly how to greet them in a polite and respectful way.’
When it comes to kissing someone’s hand, Lucy said that while it may appear charming in the movies, it could come across as unprofessional and unhygienic in real life.
HOW TO HANDLE YOURSELF IN HEELS
When it comes to handling yourself in high heels, Lucy advises always making sure you have the right fit – revealing sizes can vary depending on whether they’re designer or from the high street.
‘If you’re going high street, try them on and walk around the shop,’ she said. ‘If you’re going designer, be aware some designers come up smaller and you may have to be half a size bigger than you’re normal shoe size.
While walking on cobblestones, Lucy advises staying on the balls of your feet and making sure to look down at the placement of your shoes
‘Fit is really important, if the shoe is too big your foot is going to slip and that is going to cause blisters and really uncomfortable rubbing. If the shoe is very pointy at the front, again you may need to go up half a size or even a full size, particularly if you have wider feet.’
She advised opting for a platform, wedge or block heel if you’re looking to feel more comfortable and to always make sure you break in the shoes before wearing them for the first time.
While walking on cobblestones, Lucy advises staying on the balls of your feet and making sure to look down at the placement of your shoes.
‘My biggest tip is to stay on the balls of the feet the entire time, she said. ‘The heel should only rest down if you need a bit of balance, stability or rest.
‘There is absolutely no shame at all in looking down, place the ball of the foot into the centre part of the cobble, that will allow the best support onto the surface’.
Similarly, while walking down a hill or steep slope, Lucy advised shifting your weight placement on the floor so your body feels more balanced.
‘As you walk you want to make sure your weight is slightly back, which goes against typical walking style on a flat surface’, she explained. ‘You still want to have the ball of the feet impact down on the slip first, try to shift your weight back a little bit so you can counter balance the slope’.
Lucy only advises running in heels if there’s an emergency, but says if you have to to keep your weight on the balls of your feet and using your hips to stabilise your body.
HOW TO HANDLE YOURSELF AT DINNER
While eating dinner, Lucy says it’s essential you are able to use your cutlery correctly – revealing that holding utensils in the wrong hand is one of the biggest faux pas in high society
While eating dinner, Lucy says it’s essential you are able to use your cutlery correctly – revealing that holding utensils in the wrong hand is one of the biggest faux pas in high society.
‘Typically hold the fork in the left and knife in the right, hold them facing down towards the plate, she said. ‘Hold the fork still while gently cutting with the knife, spear the food with the fork and place it in your mouth.
‘It is typically not acceptable to shovel the food, meaning to place the fork in the other hand and scooping [the food]. This is something that should be avoided in polite settings. Never ever face your knife outwards’.
She explained that rules differ slightly depending on where in the world you are, and that in France the custom is to always have your hand remaining on the table while eating.
In the US, the main difference is using their fork in their right hand and their knife in the left and resting the knife on the left of the plate while eating – while in the UK the utensils are kept in our hands throughout the meal.
If soup is on the menu, Lucy says to make sure you are silent throughout the meal, adding slurping and dunking your bread is seen as incredibly impolite in high-class circles.
If soup is on the menu, Lucy says to make sure you are silent throughout the meal, adding slurping and dunking your bread is seen as incredibly impolite in high-class circles
‘When you place the spoon into the soup, we do not draw the spoon towards us, we actually scoop the spoon away from us, she explained.
‘With a gentle action you scoop the spoon away from you and gather the liquid in your spoon, now you can bring the spoon to your mouth. You don’t turn the spoon to face you, you keep it side on and at this point tip the spoon towards you, don’t slurp.
‘If there is bread next to you, it is not appropriate to dunk it into your soup…tear the piece of the bread and place it into your mouth, avoid the dunking’.
If you’re hosting a dinner party, the napkin itself should always be linen, never paper, and Lucy says to never call it the cloth a serviette.
‘When you first sit down at the dinner table you will find your napkin folded neatly in an elegant design in the centre of your plat, pick up the napkin and place it gently onto your lap’, she explained.
‘At the end of the meal when you are finished, the napkin is typically placed to the left side of your plate. If you leave the table for any reason during the main meal you can neatly place the napkin on the arm of the chair’.
HOW TO HANDLE YOURSELF ROMANTICALLY
If you’re on a date or out at an event with your significant other, Lucy says to always avoid extravagant public displays of affection.
‘Public displays of affection can be embarrassing for people watching, she said. ‘As a general rule, no matter how amorous you are feeling, try to keep it appropriate.
‘Remember, what you think is acceptable may not be acceptable to others. Holding hands, kissing, a light peck on the cheek or lips there is nothing wrong with that, but try to keep bigger actions reserved for behind closed doors.
If you’re on a date or out at an event with your significant other, Lucy says to always avoid extravagant public displays of affection
‘It’s also really important to remember that different cultures have completely different approaches when it comes to it. Be really careful when travelling to other countries you may not know the rules, and do your research before you go.’
Lucy also shared advice on meeting a significant other’s parents for the first time, revealing you should always dress conservatively and always bring a gift.
‘First of all think about your outfit choice, she said. ‘I would always err to the side of conservatism with your approach. So try not to have low cut tops or very short skirts, or very high heel.
‘You want to be yourself of course but parents are of a different generation and it may be they are more conservative than you, think about dressing in a more formal and smarter fashion.’
She went on to explain that even if you’re meeting in a public place, you should always bring a gift to your partner’s parents if meeting for the first time.
‘The other thing you can think about is the first impression you’re making, first impressions are made within the first few seconds of any situation, so when you walk into room for the firs time you make a first impression.
‘Bring a gift, it can be a box of chocolates, flowers, be careful with gifting alcohol because you don’t know if that person drinks or doesn’t wish to have alcohol in their home.
‘Never ever turn up to a meeting without a gift, even if you’re going to a public place like a restaurant, you always want to present a gift, as it will make a really good first impression.’
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