My boyfriend likes to masturbate alone in the shower but won't have sex with me

DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend is never in the mood for sex but masturbates most days.

I’m female, we’re both 29 and have been dating for just over a year.


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At the start, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. But I can count on one hand how many times we’ve had sex in the past three months.

He never initiates sex and rejects me every time I do. He always says he’s too tired.

But I know he masturbates. I’ve walked in on him doing so in the shower.

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Is he not attracted to me anymore?

The constant rejection is really starting to get to me.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Various things can affect our sex drive – stress, self-esteem, medication. But as your boyfriend is masturbating regularly, it suggests something else might be going on.

Talk to him and ask him what has changed in the last few months – and if there is something he would like to change in your relationship.

Watching a lot of porn can blunt any drive with a real-life partner. Explain that the lack of sex is affecting your self-esteem.

My support pack How To Thrill A Man In Bed may help you.

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