DEAR DEIDRE: BEFORE she met me, my girlfriend earned money selling nude pictures and videos of herself online.
When we started dating, she agreed to stop. Now I’ve discovered she’s been doing it secretly, and I’m furious.
I’m 31 and she’s 29. We’ve been together for a year.
I suspected she was still selling images of herself when I realised she was hiding her mobile from me.
One day, she left her phone charging and popped out. I took the opportunity to log in and found lots of messages and transactions.
Some of the men have been contacting her privately, and she has been sending them videos and photos for cash.
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This has been going on for our entire relationship.
It’s not just images. These men also ask her intimate questions and are clearly getting off on her answers.
I realise she hasn’t fallen for any of these men, but the fact she has lied to me feels like a massive betrayal.
I want to say something, but I can’t without revealing I’ve snooped at her phone.
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DEIDRE SAYS: While you are open-minded, you’re understandably upset that your girlfriend has been sending nude images and sexting other men behind your back.
Rather than checking up on her in secret, which is compounding your trust issues, you need to tell her what you’ve done.
She may be angry you looked at her messages but she needs to understand why you felt you had to.
Tell her you love her and don’t want secrets. Discuss how you can make your relationship work, if that’s what you both want.
My pack, Relationship MOT, may help you to get things back on track.
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