I May Destroy You: How did the cast feel about filming sex scenes?

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I May Destroy You is a popular series by Michaela Coel and the critically acclaimed actress stars as the main character Arabella. The BBC series is based on Coel’s own experience after she was sexually assaulted while going to see a friend. She and her fellow cast members have spoken exclusively to the media, including Express.co.uk, about how they felt filming the sex scenes.

WARNING: This story contains spoilers for I May Destroy You

How did the cast feel about filming sex scenes?

I May Destroy You has been well-received by fans and critics, who have praised the show for tackling sexual assault and consent in a brave new way.

Throughout the series, Arabella and some of her friends have sexual encounters, and they all have their own stories to tell.

While at an audition for a TV commercial role, Arabella’s best friend Terry (Weruche Opia) reveals she once had a threesome, which fans witness in a later episode.

Her gay best friend Kwame (Paapa Essiedu) also explores his sexuality by meeting up with a stranger for sex, along with his partner.

Arabella finds herself in bed with fellow writer Zain (Karan Gill), and the encounter is not at all glamorous.

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Coel and her fellow cast members revealed they did not want the sex scenes to look unbelievable, with the BAFTA winner referred to one sequence she shot with Gill.

In the scene, Arabella warns Zain she is on her period but he says he is happy to go ahead.

However, just as things start to heat up, Zain notices blood on the bedsheets and the pair end up stopping, and have a discussion about what he has just seen.

Speaking about why she wanted to incorporate this into the scene, Coel said: “How can something that happens once a month still cause shock and discomfort? I hope that is normalised.”

Viewers are used to seeing some sex scenes glamorised to add to the drama, but Essiedu said it was important to keep things real.

Speaking about his character, he said: “I find it difficult when we view ourselves through a narrow spectrum.

“The thing about Kwame is even on the page he is full of humanity and life and vitality, and as actors it’s our responsibility to bring these dimensions to life.

“Something happens to him which is traumatic but you can’t understand that trauma unless you see the other side of the coin and what he’s like in his element.

“I think it’s radical to see him comfortable and confident.” In one episode he visits a stranger for sex, along with his partner.

However, his partner does not feel comfortable and leaves, which means Kwame is alone with the stranger.

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At first, the sex is consensual but the stranger then forces himself upon Kwame a second time.

Speaking about his sex scenes Esseidu said: “It’s important these sex scenes are real and high definition.

“Everybody does it, so what is the point in making it unrealistic and glamorous? I was up close and personal, it’s a bit like choreography.”

He said the sex scenes were probably harder to watch than they were to perform, and many other cast members felt the same.

Opia said: “We all know this is the time for sexual liberation, a lot of people are doing what they feel like, and they are exploring and experimenting.”

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She did encourage people to explore their sexuality in a safe way, as the series explores modern relationships.

When filming the more intimate scenes, the cast had support from Ita O’Brien, founder at Intimacy on Set. 

She said: “I started working with the cast members during pre-production so we had an opportunity to rehearse.

“What was so fantastic was that with Michaela being present as the writer, she was able to bring such clarity and detail regarding every aspect of the scene making the task of putting into practice her vision, really clear.

“What we seek to establish as intimacy coordinators, is agreement and consent of touch, simulated sexual content and of nudity, and we absolutely welcome the ‘no’, in this way everything is clear and boundaries known.

“In doing this awkward and embarrassing moments are avoided. Some of the intimate scenes were quite challenging but ensuring all the positions are worked out with clear boundaries in place, meant that by the time the day on set came, the actors felt empowered and able to produce their best work as actors as possible.”

I May Destroy You is available to watch on BBC iPlayer

For sexual abuse support visit rapecrisis.org.uk

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