Sophie Kasaei says she thought she was going to marry Jay Bigz before their heartbreaking split.
The 30-year-old Geordie Shore star was left heartbroken when the relationship came to an end last July.
But she's hoping that capturing her recovery on cameras for new spin-off show Geordie OGs will help others move on from their own broken romances, as well as let people see the real her.
Sophie didn't take part in the first series of the show, but has joined co-stars Gary 'Gaz' Beadle, Aaron Chalmers, Holly Hagan and cousin Marnie Simpson for the new batch of episodes.
And she said we'll see everything that's happened to her in the last year, including her break up, buying her first home, turning 30 and meeting Marnie's son Rox for the first time.
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During an exclusive chat with Mirror Online, Sophie said: "It's really exciting but at the same time I'm really nervous about it all.
"Obviously with my journey in the OGs, I'd just come out of what I thought was going to be a forever relationship and I was turning 30 and started panicking because everyone else around me is having babies and settling down.
"I genuinely thought I would be the first one to do that and I think everyone else did.
"But life just throws different things at you, and don't get me wrong I wish I was in their position, of course I do, but things have changed and I'm in this position for a reason.
"For me, I was really vulnerable and my life was so different, so I'm a little bit anxious for people to see that side of me."
Sophie said despite her reservations, she's happy to finally be showing people the real her, rather than the wild party girl we met on Geordie Shore back in 2011.
She said: "I think I'm that type of girl who puts a front on of the happy-go-lucky girl and this is, not depressing, but a negative part of my life.
"As a TV reality person, you always want people to think positive and good of you but this is the time of my life that was really hard for me, so for it to be filmed and everyone to see it I'm worried about what people will think.
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"I'm just so used to cameras being around me that it doesn't really make a difference to me but I think being busy and occupying myself does, so documenting all that and seeing the way I was and how I felt, people can relate.
"There's always that one friend of the group who still hasn't had the baby, is nearly 30 and still wild, still going out and having drama with boys or girls so I know there's someone in the friendship group that will relate to me as well as everyone else."
She added: "I've never been given the opportunity really to show who I am.
"Geordie Shore, you can't really show your personality, you can show this wild side of you but when you're having normal conversations in the Geordie Shore house it's not shown because it's not relevant to that show.
"So for the first time ever this kind of show can show me as Sophie Kasaei, not just Sophie off Geordie Shore, the party girl.
"So for me it's a really good opportunity to just show everyone who I am as a person, so yeah I do think I'm very lucky to be on it.
"The start of filming I was really in a bad way and I couldn't believe it was all being documented.
"Things happen and I get some bad news but then I start getting businesses and feeling better and I think every girl goes through that journey with a break up where you're in a bad way and you just get yourself stronger."
* Geordie OGs airs Wednesdays at 9pm on MTV
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