No matter what your personal opinion on Valentine’s Day is, there’s one positive we can all take away from this time of year: Making a point of showing your appreciation for your partner is a good practice to get into. And showing your gratitude doesn’t just have to be in the form of flowers or a box of See’s candy (though that’s always welcome, just saying). There are many ways to make your partner feel appreciated and show them how much you love them that have as much impact as any Valentine’s Day date. And bonus, you can do them all year round. It’s all about the small gestures that say, "I see you, love you, and I’m happy you’re part of my life." Sometimes the biggest impact can come from the smallest and simplest gestures; things like simply being fully present in the moment with your partner, or going out of your way to touch them. When it comes to showing appreciation, grand gestures are great, but it’s the little everyday ones that count the most.
If you want to show your partner just how much they mean to you, here’s what the experts say are totally underrated ways to express your love and appreciation.
1. Perform Small Acts Of Kindness.
The smallest acts of service can go a long way toward showing your SO just how much they mean to you, as matchmaker and Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Bregman explained to Bustle. "Whether it’s packing your [significant other] a lunch before they rush out to a crazy-hectic day of work, or stopping by the mall to pick up a … phone case for your [partner] to save [them] a trip — these are the kinds of non-verbal actions that show you are deeply invested in this relationship, and seeking active ways to make your partner’s life better," said Bergman. It’s all about showing your partner that they are present in your mind and that you’re putting in the effort to take care of them or put a smile on their face.
2. Give Them Your Undivided Attention.
Life gets busy and it’s full of distractions, which makes one of the simplest gestures, putting down your phone and giving your partner your full, undivided attention, one small act that can really make them feel appreciated and cared for. This is particularly true, as Kiaundra Jackson, LMFT told Bustle, when your partner needs a supportive listener. "You do not have to say a word or try to fix any problems, but lending a listening ear can go a long way to make your partner fall deeper in love with you because they feel heard,” she explained.
3. Give Them Sincere Compliments.
It’s natural to want to feel attractive to your partner, but it’s easy over time in a relationship to forget to let your SO know how adorable you find them. So, remembering to give them sincere compliments is a great way to give them a boost and to show your appreciation for them. “People love when we compliment something about their appearance. So, if [your partner is] wearing a nice new outfit, or a great scarf and shoes, if they got a new haircut, say something,” Dr. Nikki Martinez, Psy.D. LCPC, wrote in The Huffington Post.
4. Support Their Dreams And Ambitions.
Being the biggest cheerleader of your partner’s dreams and ambitions lets them know you believe in them and appreciate them for both who they are and who they want to become. “If they are on the fence about trying something or taking a big step, let them know that you believe in them, and think they can do it,” wrote Dr. Martinez. “Also, let them know that you will do whatever needs to be done to support them, and help make their dream happen.”
5. Write Them Thank You Notes.
Sweet text messages may be the modern equivalent of a love letter, but nothing beats an actual handwritten thank you note for showing just how much you appreciate your partner. It can be written in response to something they’ve done that you were grateful for, or just for being themselves. Either way, it’s tactile proof of your gratitude. Plus, as Robert Glatter, M.D., an assistant professor of emergency medicine at Lenox Hill Hospital, Northwell Health, previously explained to Elite Daily, it proves you’re willing to put in literal work to show your partner how much they mean to you. “[Gratitude] is a sign that you care enough to devote time to honor those who make a difference in our daily lives,” he said. “It’s the effort that truly counts, and means the most to others.”
Showing your gratitude and appreciation for the person you love doesn’t have to take a ton of effort and planning; it really can just be in the small, thoughtful ways you treat them every day.
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