Do I keep trying to be friends with ex after he ended whirlwind romance?

DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD the most amazing four-month whirlwind relationship with a man which ended before Christmas.

I’m no spring chicken and as a 44-year-old gay man have had plenty of other relationships. But this one has knocked me sideways.

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I was blindsided when he said we were finished. 

But he begged me to stay friends as he wanted to keep me in his life. 

Since our split I have hardly heard from him and it’s always me that instigates contact. 

He is 29 and lives in Manchester, while I am based in Stoke. I am due to visit Manchester next month for work and am wondering whether I should get in touch.

DEIDRE SAYS: I am so sorry but from what you have told me, your ex said he wanted to be friends to soften the blow of breaking up.

Since then you have done all the running.

Of course, it is up to you whether you contact him to coincide with your next work trip but it would be better for you to put your energies into moving on – as he seems to have done. 

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