I get so upset when boyfriend mentions my abusive past – he's like the rest

DEAR DEIDRE: MY boyfriend always brings up my abusive past when we row.

It’s my Achilles heel and leaves me a quivering wreck.

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He apologises and says he admits he knows it gives me immediate flashbacks.

We are both 30 and we’ve got a boy aged 18 months.

I was abused by two men when I was in care and they both went to prison.

I don’t know how I found the strength to speak up in court.

My boyfriend seemed like a good guy but he’s just like all the rest.

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He’s hit me more than once and can be so nasty during an argument.

I feel hurt and worthless, like I felt as a young teenager.

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DEIDRE SAYS: Please don’t stay with a man who wants to hurt you, physically and emotionally.

This may feel familiar because of the abuse you’ve suffered but no, not all men are like this.

When people are abused, they can easily mistake sex for love. You are a survivor of abuse and now you have a choice – to stay in this toxic situation, which is bad for your son, or get out.

Find help at The Change Project, for victims and perpetrators of domestic abuse (thechange-project. org, 01245 258 680).

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