A bride was left reeling after her mother-in-law stormed out of her dress fitting because she didn’t agree on her wedding dress choice.
The anonymous bride, aged 25, posted to the popular ‘Am I The Asshole’ Reddit thread, wondering whether she was actually in the wrong.
‘I am getting married next year to my fiancé, Jack,’ she wrote.
‘His mum is excited for the wedding and has been very involved.
‘I’m currently looking for a wedding dress and my future MIL [mother-in-law] insisted on looking with me.’
The bride-to-be said she had no issue with her mother-in-law’s involvement in the wedding at first, but she wouldn’t stop criticising ‘every dress’ she tried on.
‘[She] kept saying things like “no that’s not for US”, “WE can do better”,’ the bride wrote.
‘I was getting irritated, but kept it inside to not cause any drama.’
That is until she found her dream dress.
‘At some point, I tried on a dress and immediately fell in love,’ the post continued.
‘I looked at the saleswoman and told her it was the one that I wanted.
‘My future MIL did not agree and was like “Are you kidding? I don’t want that one, she’s not pretty.’
That was the final straw.
The bride continued: ‘I tried to remain as polite as possible and told her that, although I was thankful, she volunteered to come with me, it was still MY future wedding dress and therefore MY choice, and that I was gonna choose that one whether she liked the dress or not.’
That didn’t end well. The mother–in-law broke into tears and left, but before giving her soon to be daughter-in-law a piece of her mind.
‘She started crying and told me that I was being ungrateful for everything she’s done for me and called me selfish,’ the bride wrote.
‘She then left and took a taxi home.’
Afterwards, her fiancé told her that she should have been more understanding,because he is his mother’s only child and this is her ‘only chance to live this’.
Who’s in the wrong?
Of more than 400 comments, not a single Reddit user blamed the bride for her actions.
In fact, many went a step further than telling her that she was NTA (not the asshole), saying that her fiancé’s reaction was a ‘red flag’.
The top comment reads: ‘This is your red flag. Your fiancé is always going to take his mommy’s side. You have to decide if that’s the battle you want to fight the rest of your life.’
Another said: ‘NTA, BUT if your Future Husband won’t stand up for you, this could be a terrible marriage.’
Another person said: ‘NTA. Why is the mom so dramatic? It’s your wedding and your dress. You have to wear it, not her.
‘Also why is your fiancé is saying you should be more considered about her feelings? This doesn’t make any sense her. Kinda a red flag/toxic trait to make you feel bad instead of staying on your side.’
How to deal with opinionated loved ones while planning for your wedding
While Redditors are famed for jumping to conclusions, there is one lesson to take from this: don’t try to appease anyone on your wedding day, except yourself and your partner.
The idea that it’s your wedding dress and therefore your choice is something to keep in mind when gown shopping with your nearest and dearest.
As our wedding advice columnist, Alison Rios McCrone wrote earlier this year, when someone asked whether she should tell her best friend that she hates her wedding dress: ‘You must remember that the dress she wears is her choice.
‘Everyone has different tastes – especially when it comes to weddings – so while you can offer your perspective, it is up to her to make the final decision.’
She added: ‘What matters the most is the love and commitment between your best friend and her partner.
‘The dress may not be perfect, in your opinion, but as long as your friend feels happy and confident, that’s all that truly matters.’
We concur, Alison.
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