Mother-in-law slams wedding after learning couple was already married

‘She said we lied to everyone’: Bride reveals her furious mother-in-law is calling her recent wedding a ‘gift grab’ after learning she and her spouse were legally married over a year ago

  • Reddit user Brideandgroom19 said they wed a year and a half ago because she had ‘serious health issues’ at the time and needed to join his health insurance
  • They had a ‘fancy’ wedding two months ago, and while her parents knew they were already married, his mother did not 
  • The woman said her mother-in-law ‘lost it’ when she saw the date on their wedding certificate and called their recent ceremony a ‘gift grab’  
  • While she questioned whether or not she should’ve been more forthcoming, many people agreed that she didn’t do anything wrong   

A bride has revealed her mother-in-law is shaming her for not disclosing that she and her husband were legally married a year and a half before their ‘fancy’ wedding.

Reddit user Brideandgroom19 shared her story on the ‘AmITheA**hole’ subreddit, explaining that they had initially gotten married because she was suffering from ‘serious health issues’ at the time and needed to be put on his health insurance. 

The newlywed said her mother-in-law was furious when she found out the truth and called their recent wedding a ‘gift grab,’ leading her question whether or not she was in the wrong for not being more forthcoming. 

Family drama: A Reddit user has revealed her mother-in-law is calling her recent wedding a ‘gift grab’ after learning she and her husband were legally married a year and a half ago 

‘About two months ago, my husband and I got “married” in a beautiful ceremony. It was SO MUCH FUN. We went on a honeymoon after. The price tag makes me wheeze, but my parents were insistent on paying for 95% of it, saying it’s their only daughter’s wedding,’ she wrote. 

‘As a result, the wedding was way more fancy than something my husband or I could afford! My husband and I paid the rest — his family did not contribute (which is fine!).’

The woman explained that a year and a half ago she was suffering from ‘some serious health issues’ and didn’t have health insurance because she had recently graduated from school. 

‘My husband and I decided to get married so I could join his health insurance. It was a quick Justice of the Peace ceremony,’ she recalled. ‘We were always planning to have a ceremony at some point in the future. A few months after that, he “proposed” (something I didn’t see coming!), the wedding occurred, and here we are today, planning for kids.’

She said ‘very few people’ knew that they had gotten legally married, but she stressed that they ‘weren’t trying to be deceptive.’  

‘Part of it was that I wasn’t comfortable revealing my health issues,’ she explained. ‘My husband respected this. My parents knew about our legal marriage, but his mother did not.’

The woman, who called her mother-in-law Carol in the post, said things came to a head when she was helping them move this past weekend.

When her mother-in-law came across their marriage license, she picked it up and suggested they should frame it, which led her to notice the date.   

‘Carol lost it. She insisted we lied to everyone,’ the woman recounted. ‘She said our wedding ceremony was just a “gift grab” (our wedding website stated that someone’s presence was gift enough — we still got many generous gifts and we are forever grateful).’

To make matters worse, Carol called her twin sister, who also lashed out at them after finding out the truth.    

‘She said we were sneaky and deceptive. She is saying she may want her gift back —something we are fine with giving her,’ the Reddit user said. 

‘For me and my husband, the legal wedding was just so I could get insurance. A means to an end. Our wedding date is what we will celebrate. Are we a**holes for not being more upfront?’ she asked. ‘I’ve been really upset and confused and waffle back and forth. My husband insists we are not a**holes.’

Don’t worry: Many of the commenters insisted she didn’t do anything wrong, though some admitted they could understand why her mother-in-law was upset 

A majority of the commenters assured the woman that she didn’t do anything wrong, with many saying she should send the aunt’s gift back in the snarkiest way possible.  

‘My brother and his wife got married a year before their wedding for immigration reasons. No one cared,’ one person wrote. ‘Like seriously, it’s not like the OP had multiple weddings to get presents. What a weird thing to do to call it a “gift grab.”‘ 

‘Send it back now — don’t wait for a “demand” — with a thank you card, “Thanks, it’s the thought that counts. We are so glad you could make it on our day.” Or something better to rub in the pettiness,’ someone else said of returning the aunt’s gift.   

Carol is very much [the a**hole] and so is her bean counting sister,’ another commented. ‘That document was between you and your husband, OP. Carol had no business reading it. and she was vindictive to share it. Clearly the early ceremony was just business.’

There were a few people, however, who could see why Carol was so upset with her son and daughter-in-law. 

‘I suspect she’s just hurt she didn’t’ know you’d already been married a year and a half. Her son didn’t tell her, and I can see why she’d be upset,’ one Reddit user admitted. 

‘I can see why MIL would be upset to be so out of the loop on this,’ another person agreed.  

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