DEAR DEIDRE: I AM furious with my brother for dating my cheating ex – who messed with my head and is probably lying about whether I am the father of her son.
I’m 29 and went out with a woman, who is 26, for two years.
While we were seeing each other, she repeatedly lied and cheated on me.
We broke up several times but we kept getting back together because the sex was so amazing I couldn’t resist her, plus she made me feel like I was special.
I know I was stupid and should have thought with my big brain, not my little one.
I finally broke up with her for good in summer 2019 after I found flirty messages on her phone to a guy she worked with.
I realised I simply couldn’t trust her. We didn’t have any contact for months, then one day she sent me a text saying she needed to talk urgently.
She told me she was pregnant and the baby was mine.
I said I didn’t believe her, because we had always used protection, and because I was certain she’d been seeing other guys.
I told her to leave me alone, and didn’t hear from her until she texted to say she’d had a son.
I ignored the message and have never seen the child.
Then, just before the last lockdown, my brother, who is 27, bumped into her in the pub and they’re now seeing each other.
He didn’t tell me because he knew I’d be upset. But a mutual friend thought I should know.
When I asked my brother what he was playing at, he said he wasn’t doing anything wrong because we were over ages ago.
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I don’t believe my ex-girlfriend is really interested in my brother.
I think she’s just using him to get to me, so I’ll accept I’m the dad of her baby.
And. worst of all, why would my brother even go there, knowing what she’s like and that there’s a tiny chance her son might be mine?
DEIDRE SAYS: There are two issues here – the baby and what sounds like a case of sibling rivalry.
Whether or not you want to be with this woman, you appear to be jealous of your brother. And he may be getting a kick out of this, too.
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While you don’t own her and can’t stop him seeing her, perhaps it would be a good idea to have a proper chat with your brother about what happened with your ex, and your concerns over the baby.
He might well be blinded with lust, as you were.
The only way to know if the baby is yours is to get a DNA test.
Your ex will need to agree to this, so you must talk to her.
For further information and advice on DNA tests, try Cellmark (cellmark.co.uk, 0800 0362 522).
But before doing this, it’s important you think through the potential consequences and how you’ll feel if the baby is yours.
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