My wife said go elsewhere for sex – but now one of my three lovers is pregnant

DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been having sex with three younger women and it’s been great – but now one is pregnant.

I’m a married man of 53 and own a jewellery shop. My wife is 56 and we’ve been together for 33 years.


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Our marriage was happy until she hit her early fifties and then it was like a light switch had gone off. She no longer wanted sex.

It caused arguments, as I’m a guy with needs.

One evening when I’d suggested we get an early night, she flipped and said: “If you’re so desperate to get your leg over, why don’t you find somebody else?”

She said she’d been thinking about it for some time. Sex wasn’t important to her and she’d lost her libido. Her suggestion seemed like the perfect solution, as I didn’t want to end my marriage.

I signed up to a sugar-daddy website where I had the pick of women who were interested in me, especially once I told them I owned a jewellery shop.

Then I started seeing three of them separately. One of them was 35 and the other two said they were 27.

It was great. We’d go out for dinner and I’d book a hotel or go to their place for sex.

But then one of them confessed she had lied about her age. She was actually 21.

She’s younger than my son and I would have run a mile if she had been honest with me in the first place.

She then asked to meet me for a coffee and I thought it would be a good opportunity to tell her that this wasn’t working.

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But she dropped the bombshell she’s pregnant. She wants to keep the baby and won’t consider a termination.

Obviously she thinks I’m a rich guy who will support her and the child — but it’s just not like that.

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DEIDRE SAYS: You will just have to be honest and tell her that if she keeps the baby, you are responsible for supporting the child financially and preferably emotionally too, but not her as the mother.

I’m afraid it is going to be a tough road ahead for her because being a single mum isn’t easy.

My support pack called Unplanned Pregnancy will tell her where to find help.

If she goes ahead, you will have to find a way of explaining things to your wife, and you may need some couple counselling if your marriage is to survive.

Find help through the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists (cosrt.org.uk, 020 8106 9635). A therapist can help bring you closer emotionally and sexually.

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