Picky mum puts me and my family down and praises my sister all the time

DEAR DEIDRE: MY older sister is lovely and we’ve always got on well.

But the way my mum differentiates between us is really upsetting.


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I’m 36 and my sister is 38. All my life I’ve had to listen to my mum compliment my sister for her stunning figure and “beautiful face”.

She has never once praised me. Not that I think I’m particularly good looking but wouldn’t you want both your daughters to feel confident?

She puts down my appearance and regularly suggests I change my outfit into something “more flattering”.

Now it’s worse as my sister has two daughters and I have two sons.

My sons have to listen to how amazing their female cousins are and she even tells them they should try to be more like them.

Nothing my sons do is ever good enough.

DEIDRE SAYS: Your mum is probably unhappy with her own life and puts you down because of her own self-esteem issues.

I imagine your sister is more similar to your mum in personality, interests and values, which is why your mum will favour her.

Gently stand up to your mum. Let her know you don’t want your sons compared to their cousins.

You can’t compare one child with another and you don’t want their confidence affected.

She will start to see how damaging her treatment is.

I’m sending you my support pack Standing Up For Yourself, which will help.

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