DEAR DEIDRE: UNTIL my husband moved another woman into our home, I didn’t know what jealousy was. Now it’s taking over my life.
I am 55 and my husband is 57. We split up four years ago after 30 years of marriage and he had a sort of mid-life crisis.
Get in touch with Deidre today
Got a problem?
Send an email to [email protected]. Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.
He became rude and arrogant. He refused to change, so in the end I left him, though I thought we were only on a break for things to cool down.
I was shopping in town one day and spotted my husband with another woman. I asked a mutual friend about her and she confirmed that my husband was seeing someone.
When I asked my husband, he said she was fit and he was in love with her. She is 40 and a petite blonde.
That’s when I got incredibly jealous. She came to my Zumba class and I would go out of my way to avoid her because I felt so inadequate.
My husband wined and dined her and took her on holiday to the places we used to go. She moved in with him and met some of our friends. I was so angry.
But after six months, my husband said things weren’t working out between them and his new girlfriend wasn’t right for him. He told her to move out.
We gradually became close again and decided we would try to mend our relationship.
I moved back in and we have been together for a few months now and things are good.
But I know I am driving my husband away with my obsession with this other woman. I constantly look at photos of her on Instagram.
I hate the fact she has lived in his house and used our things. She wanted my life and my husband let her have it.
My husband won’t speak about her so my imagination runs riot.
I know I need to sort this out because it isn’t healthy.
Topic4today
I HEAR most days from single men and women who long to be in a relationship but have never managed to find that special someone.
My e-leaflet Finding The Love Of Your Life offers simple steps to help with the search for love that lasts.
For a copy email me at [email protected] or message me on Facebook.
DEIDRE SAYS: It would probably ramp up your jealousy even further if your husband fleshed out your imaginings with more facts. But he shouldn’t think he can sweep the way he hurt you under the carpet.
Keep reminding yourself he chose to get back with you. She is history.
You can decide not to allow her to be part of your present and future.
But it is only natural that you need to hear him say he regrets how his attitude towards you changed and that you are the one and only woman for him.
When you feel threatened, don’t talk about her but ask him for a hug and to say: “I love you.”
Stop looking at her on social media. Block out those mental images of them together with memories of your best moments with your husband.
My e-leaflet on Dealing With Jealousy explains more.
Source: Read Full Article