"I'm just so scared to get too close to you. I don't want to get pregnant … or maybe I do."
It was a wild night of wicked burns on “The Masked Singer” as Drew Carey and Jon Lovitz brought plenty of jabs to “Comedy Roast Night.”
The Bride was back to defend her crown against two newcomers in the form of an adorable and hilarious Avocado and a statuesque Snowstorm. Considering last week didn’t really offer up any incredibly strong vocal performances, could The Bride retain the crown?
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Two of tonight’s contenders would be unmasked by the end of the night, while one would carry on into next week’s final week of performances before the semi-finals. It’s crazy to think that by the end of tonight, fans will have seen 20 different performers (with 2 more to come next week)!
Tonight’s eliminated masks proved incredibly challenging for the panel, with even their solid guesses falling flat in the face of the real faces inside the costumes.
But don’t worry, there were still plenty of terrible guesses to go around, like Ken earnestly thinking Matthew McConaughey would do this show, while Nicole tried to argue for Harrison Ford.
The night was also filled with some great burns at the contestants and panel, with quips about Robin’s vanity, Jenny’s wardrobe choices and even Nick Cannon’s collection of baby mamas.
Let’s jump right in with this week’s masks. And don’t worry, before we get to the shocking unmasking, we’re going to make you power through the terrible (and occasionally good) guesses made by our illustrious panel of Robin Thicke, Jenny McCarthy, Ken Jeong and Nicole Scherzinger first. We do this because we love … to torture you.
Along with the panel’s guesses, we’ll be sharing some internet speculation, too, so if you don’t want to be potentially spoiled (because they are very good at this), you may want to skip past the guesses sections.
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THE BRIDE
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(“White Wedding,” Billy Idol) The Bride was much stronger this week vocally, nailing the very stylized vocals of this classic track. His rock growl is spot-on and his lower register was pretty solid, as well. We don’t see him as a professional rock singer, based on this, but he’s certainly someone who’s pretty talented in that arena (as a second gig at best).
Guesses: As the reigning champ, there weren’t as many clues, but the one big one we got in the clue package had a lot to consider. It was a “Set List” with two items, only the first one had a line striking through it. That one read, “1) ‘Become a Hero Queen.’” The second item was not crossed out, reading, “2) ‘Act Up.’”
This week’s on-stage clue came from “comedy legend” Jon Lovitz, who came out to roast the Bride. “They have a movie career, and they like to show off their chest, just like Jenny McCarthy … minus the movie career.”
In his clue package, Bride quipped that she wasn’t fooling anyone at her own wedding with that white wedding dress, so how come Jenny’s getting burned more than Bride?
Robin was looking at all that energy and thinking about the shirtless comment when he came up with Flea from Red Hot Chili Peppers. “He likes to show off more than his chest sometimes, though,” Jenny grinned.
Ken was ridiculous with Matthew McConaughey, but Nicole did pick up the idea of actor from “Act Up,” and went with David Arquette. But none of them were picking up the acting vibes that have to happen in the squared circle, as Twitter has been for two weeks now.
They are pretty locked and loaded on their guess that the signature wail and rocker energy is coming from current AEW star and wrestling legend Chris Jericho — though there were a few stray guesses for Jack Black out there.
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SNOWSTORM
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(“thank u, next,” Ariana Grande) Snowstorm put on a whole performance with so much character coming through just her voice. This is not an easy song to sing, and she doesn’t try to nail the bigger moments, but she has a very sweet tone that was able to navigate it flawlessly. She’s got the voice of a singer and the stage presence.
Guesses: The first clue we saw was the phrase “can’t sit down,” with her admitting that she has to be cold-blooded to do what she does and furthermore, she knows she can be a real “B.” But, she added, she really is the sweetest thing.
She said it took her two years to see herself on screen as she faced challenges having to “snowplow” her way into a male-dominated industry. She also said that she’s definitely faced some failures and hasn’t always been pitch perfect.
Visual clues included a shot of her roasting chestnuts over an open fire, a sign labeled “Speed Dating,” and a comic book of her adventures as Snowstorm. Then, Jon Lovitz quipped, “She has shared the stage with A-list superstars like Rob Lowe, and non-A-listers like Dr. Ken.”
He then went in on Ken, adding, “Ken’s parents spent all that money on medical school to have him guess the Unicorn is Tori Spelling.” But he wasn’t the only one with jokes!
Snowstorm got in a great one herself, telling Nick, “I’m just so scared to get too close to you. I don’t want to get pregnant … or maybe I do.” She also stood a few inches taller than Nick, though shoes were helping that a bit. But she’s definitely a taller woman.
Ken Jeong started trying to make connections between himself and Rob Lowe, speculating about Heather Graham or Kathryn Hahn, even tying the chestnuts to “Bad Moms Christmas.” Nicole, though, thought the clues could have been pointing to Zooey Deschanel, with the chestnuts to “Elf.” But, she wasn’t feeling Zooey’s voice in that performance, so instead went with roast comic Iliza Shlesinger.
Robin was also thinking comedy and came up with Aubrey Plaza, who he was “pretty sure” worked with Rob Lowe — uh, they only co-starred on “Parks & Recreation” for years, my man! He considered the chestnuts roasting as a nod to Snowstorm being a comedy roaster, so he went with Whitney Cummings. Can she sing that well?
The internet wasn’t quite as solid on this one, but they’re definitely also leaning toward a comic famous for their roast skills, Nikki Glaser. There were some stray guesses for people like Hailee Steinfeld, Selena Gomez, Elizabeth Banks and somehow Ariana herself, even though she’s so tiny.
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AVOCADO
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(“Hit the Road Jack,” Ray Charles) Avocado didn’t quite have the rhythm down, so he’s definitely not a singer — we’re not even sure he could hear the beat. It’s also such a stylized song that you can sing it with very little vocal variance, and that’s exactly what he did, with a gravelly tone he didn’t stray from. The best part was all the avocado puns he dropped at the end, fully in character. It was certainly a fun performance.
Guesses: A “dude’s dude,” Avocado said he was a funny guy now but he got his start in construction. He dreamed of that a/c life, so on a whim he traded in his tools for an opportunity. Then, when he reached into a whole new venture he found a billion-dollar industry.
He also talked about getting his hands dirty, which evokes Mike Rowe of “Dirty Jobs,” while there was a pointed shot of a bald eagle flying into a plate glass window, cracking it everywhere. Then Jon Lovitz shared that he’s “really into home renovation, but it’s not like he’s one of those ‘Property Brothers’; they’re really handsome. Avocado has a face you wanna listen to.”
“When’s the last time someone mistook you for George Clooney?” Avocado shot back. “When’s the last time you passed a mirror that didn’t crack?” Lovitz shot back, “When’s the last time you made a joke that was funny.” The whole exchange had Ken calling it “Mild ‘n Out.”
Clearly fired up by all the energy in the room, Nicole decided to go big or go home and guessed Harrison Ford — which may be the single worst guess in the history of the show. He could come out dressed like Indiana Jones and say he’s Harrison Ford and it still would never be him. She even tied the billion-dollar “Star Wars” franchise and his humble starts as a carpenter.
But her more serious guess was Joe Rogan, who has one of the biggest podcasts in the world after pivoting later in his career after standup. Jenny thought the comedy masks in the clue could refer to a different comic podcaster, Marc Maron. Robin took the construction toward Tim Allen, after admitting he wasn’t smart about the podcast world.
Twitter didn’t hate the Tim Allen or Joe Rogan guesses, because they didn’t have a consensus of their own. They were throwing out names like Chris Gaines, Cedric the Entertainer, Adam Carolla, George Lopez — but even as they were making these guesses, they weren’t that confident in them.
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UNMASKING 16
While this wasn’t a night filled with great vocal performances, it was a night filled with great entertainment and a whole lot of fun. Vocally, we’d give the edge to Snowstorm as the strongest singer, but Avocado had the funniest presentation.
That left reigning champ The Bride out in the cold for us. Started from the top now she’s here, as that’s exactly what the audience did. The reigning champ didn’t even make the Battle Royale to try and defend her crown.
- Robin Thicke: Flea
- Jenny McCarthy: Vin Diesel
- Ken Jeong: Matthew McConaughey
- Nicole Scherzinger: Sammy Hagar
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The wide range of guesses meant that the panel really didn’t have a clear bead on this one. Did the internet, with their confidence that it’s a wrestling superstar? Of course they did. When the internet knows, they know and they were feeling really strongly that this was Chris Jericho.
Chris had a great energy and sense of fun even unmasked, joking that the pink dinosaur in a wedding dress had been inside him all along. He praised the costume design and lamented that he’d gotten beaten by an avocado (though that’s also a pretty great costume).
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BATTLE ROYALE
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To oversee this Battle Royale, former “Masked Singer” contestant Llama (Drew Carey) came out with jokes about the two finalists. He blamed Snowstorm for making him late all those times in Cleveland, and then laughed that he had no jokes for Avocado because he didn’t expect him to still be there. He and Nick then joked that this song was in tribute to Robin, complete with video of him preening himself.
(“You’re So Vain,” Carly Simon) Avocado hit some of these notes, but boy was this rough. He’s still got great charisma, but this moment made it clear why he chose the song he did for his solo performance. It was safe, whereas this exposed everything. Snowstorm didn’t quite sound like a pro singer herself, but she could definitely carry a tune and almost nailed the melody perfectly. She again injected a lot of fun character into the performance, so she’s definitely someone who’s used her body language and voice to entertain a crowd before.
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UNMASKING 17
We weren’t sure how this one would play out at first because Avocado was such a blast in his first performance, but he was fully exposed in this Battle Royale. Snowstorm wasn’t quite as strong, either, but the difference was minimal in her case, and she definitely had the stronger overall night.
It’s also worth noting that if Snowstorm were to win tonight and then win next week, we’d have an all-female finals for “The Masked Singer,” which is a fun idea. But first, she had to get past Avocado, which she did with ease, becoming the new reigning Queen. As for Avocado, he was toast.
- Robin Thicke: Tim Allen
- Jenny McCarthy: Marc Maron
- Ken Jeong: Dax Shepard
- Nicole Scherzinger: Joe Rogan
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The panel was definitely thinking about podcasts — except for Robin, who’s probably never even listened to one. Maybe he should start one and he could then listen to that (“Vain” callback). It turns out they were on the right track, just not the right guy.
Instead, it was comedian turned podcaster and “Loveline” co-host Adam Carolla, whose own “The Adam Carolla Show” set a Guinness World Record as “most downloaded podcast” back in 2011.
Next week, it’s the final batch of new contestants tries to defend her crown against Scarecrow and Sir Bug-a-Boo with a “Fright Night” theme. It’s a two-night event, as well, with the semi-finals dropping on Thanksgiving night!
“The Masked Singer” doubles up next week with new episodes on Wednesday and Thursday at 8 p.m. ET on Fox before its two-hour finale the following Wednesday.
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