You’re fast asleep, making sure to get in those eight hours. Perhaps you’re dreaming of a tropical vacation or a promotion at work. Suddenly, your pleasant dream shifts and you find yourself locking lips with your ex. Wait, what? What is your ex doing in your dreams?
There’s nothing like having your much-needed slumber interrupted by an unsettling dream, and dreaming about someone from your past is definitely unsettling. Such a dream can stir up a lot of complicated emotions. How much weight should you give to the dream? Does dreaming of your ex indicate unresolved feelings for them? Does it mean you’re still in love with them?
Dreaming about your ex might mean that you’ve still got some lingering feelings for them, but it doesn’t necessarily mean you should give things a second chance — especially if your ex didn’t treat you well.
“In general, having sexual feelings or dreams about other people is normal,” relationship therapist Anne McKay told Women’s Health.
A dream about your ex could also mean that you need closure, have some feelings of guilt over how things ended, or simply need to move on from your ex. If you’ve already moved on to a new relationship, a dream about your ex might indicate that your current relationship isn’t fulfilling your needs.
But if you feel guilty if you have a dream about an ex lover, there’s no need to read too much into it. “It doesn’t necessarily mean you want to cheat on your partner, it just means you’re comfortable having feelings for other people,” said McKay.
While you might want to take a closer look at your feelings after such a dream, as long as you’re happy with your current partner, you shouldn’t view a dream about your ex as some sort of ominous warning about your relationship or as a sign that you should break up. “If you are in a fulfilling relationship, then frequently dreaming about an ex shouldn’t be a threat,” said McKay.
Dreams are finicky things, after all. While they can sometimes clue us in to emotions lurking in our subconscious, sometimes they’re just, well, dreams.
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