Singleton who’s had ‘unwanted’ anal penetration from THREE men reveals a friend told her it’s ‘just part of sex’ – but outraged women insist additional consent is always needed
- Woman took to British parenting forum Mumsnet to discuss anal sex
- She revealed she had numerous ‘unwelcome and unexpected’ anal penetration
- Her friend said it was ‘just part of sex unless you are clear you don’t want anal’
- Commenters claimed it is a ‘bit rapey’ to presume anal with out consent
A woman has provoked a debate after claiming she’s had ‘unwelcome and unexpected’ anal sex with several men.
Taking to the British parenting forum Mumsnet, the woman said that she’d slept with three men who anally penetrated her without specifically asking her permission.
Feeling uncomfortable about the siutation, she aske a friend if it was normal, and she was told it’s ‘just part of ‘having sex’ and unless you are clear you don’t want anal.’
The women said she doesn’t agree with this advice saying she believes that ‘anal is not expected but is discussed and decided on the couples preferences.’
Most agreed with her view on this, and the woman wrote in a follow-up post: ‘I’m glad I’m not crazy. It’s upset me for a long time and made something I would have perhaps explored with a loving partner a no-go.’
A woman has provoked a debate after she revealed she had ‘unwelcome and unexpected’ anal sex with numerous men (stock image)
Taking to the British parenting forum, Mumsnet, the woman said that she’d slept with three men who anally penetrated her with out her permission
Explaining how the situation unfolded, the woman wrote: ‘I have had precisely three accounts of “presumed” anal sex.
‘I won’t go into details because I’m not here to amuse people, but I will clarify they were unwelcome, unexpected and in the last situation explicitly unwanted.
‘I was speaking to one of my friends (without details) and she suggested it’s just part of “having sex” and unless you are clear you don’t want anal it’s just what’s expected.
‘I call b******t. Anal is not “expected” but is discussed and decided on the couple’s preferences… yet my track history suggests I’m wrong. So which is it?’
Her post outraged commenters who all agreed that the act should be discussed in advancem with one writing: ‘No i wouldn’t consider anal as part of having sex, it’s usually men trying their luck.’
Her post outraged commenters who all agreed that it shouldn’t be expected and definitely should be discussed
Another wrote: ‘Definitely not part of having sex for me. It’s a discussion. So many men “slip” during sex (aka trying it on).’
Another agreed, adding:'”slipping in” for anal is horrendous and quite rapey. Anal must be consensual, it requires special prep (lotta lube etc.)
‘Deliberately inflicting pain to do that, and it’s not an accident either, in my opinion.’
A fellow user claimed that it could be a health risk to women if they are not prepared for anal sex.
She said: ‘Given that it involves prep and without it can cause internal damage then absolutely explicit consent after a conversation about doing it safely is required.
‘There needs to be a lot more education on the risks of permanent damage. But of course the damage is to women so here we are.’
While another commenter claimed it could be a lack of poor self-esteem and boundaries to think it is ‘expected’.
A fellow user claimed that it could be a health risk to women if they are not prepared for anal sex as there is preparation involved
‘I would definitely put anal on the “additional layer of consent” list. It’s not for everyone and lots of people find it actively unpleasant (including me).
‘I have had men try it on with me in the past and been roundly disabused of the idea.
‘Anyone who thinks anything sexual is “expected” has poor self-esteem and boundaries.’
A man chimed in and agreed with the women saying: ‘I’m a man and absolutely no way. It’s not my thing and even if I were, would at least have a conversation about it first.
‘I’m making a huge assumption but can’t imagine that many women are into it either.’
Another added: ‘A couple of encounters tested the boundaries, insisting I would enjoy it, but I have never been a woman to be messed with and they soon stopped. I was probably very lucky.’
Others commented that it seems to be more widely discussed and asked if the rise of online porn is the cause.
‘I’m early 40s, hate it, and never been expected to do it. But I feel like more expected among younger people,’ one wrote.
Given that CosmoGirl (or was it Teen Vogue?) ran an article about anal sex aimed at teenage girls, I think we can safely say porn culture has led us here.
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